This blog post is about helping your young kids discern strangers as ‘safe’ or not, what is public and private, and healthy touch.
I recently had a parent contact me with a request for a Workshop on “Stranger Danger”(Hubbard, 2012). She writes:
“…given the recent news coverage of the Tori Stafford case and as Mama to a 2 year old daughter, this is much on my mind. And I get similar feedback from lots of parents I know: how exactly to set our kids up for safety, without scaring the bejeezus out of them about the world at large? If we teach our kids that all “strangers” are scary, don’t we risk isolating them terribly? What I want, as a mom, is to empower my daughter to reach out to the right strangers for help when she needs it, always. And I think the way I handle this early stuff has the capacity to set her up for a certain attitude towards life in general… It will either be one of confidence in– or fear about, her inherent ability to access support and to build community for herself, wherever she goes.”
This parent is on an important track of thinking: Read more…
First, a quick update: I have spent that last 9 months pursuing professional development with a short stop in the world of physician education. It has been quite a ride but my sex education path has taken 2 direct streams as a result and this clarity affords me a renewed energy and focus that can only be beneficial to my practice (and therefore to you, dear readers!).
As a gift for your patience in not hearing from me for so long, I return to you with Read more…
I often wonder how all the people in my life are doing with their sexuality…. You might think this is a strange place to put my thoughts over a day but, what I know is, if you don’t put the energy in, it won’t come back out, so I do it. Holding thoughts and space for sexuality is a crucial aspect of ‘having a good sex life’. I figure, if I think about how my loved ones, friends, and family, etc., are feeling about, thinking about, acting on, expressing their sexuality, perhaps that energy will reach you and you may, in turn, become closer to actualizing your dreams, fantasizes, intentions, desires.
If this posting reaches you, take some time today to: Read more…
This link will take you to a radio show http://dl.dropbox.com/u/21722500/May%20Intra%20Venus%20Interview.mp3 did on the subject of sexual health education in the schools – and of course, in the home, with parents. It’s pretty advanced stuff and has some great nuggets to help parents understand how important their job is as the children’s 1st and most important sexual health educator. Teachers, too, have a very important role, in every classroom, to teach what they intend to within what’s called “the Hidden Curriculum”. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hidden_curriculum
Be in touch with any questions or concerns.
Whether we have been with someone for a long time, or are just getting to know them, there is often a point in the relationship where your crazy passion starts to dwindle… arousal is harder to get and maintain, interest wains…
I recommend you start doing a Touch Exchange, once a week or more. If you want to really build arousal and knowledge of yourself and your lovers, try this for 7 days straight. The exercise goes like this:
Decide who goes first. Describe to your partner in as much detail as possible how you want to be touched for 3 minutes. Set a timer that has a gentle sound to ‘end your time’. While your lover is doing the touch you’ve described, completely release into the touch. Then switch. You can do as many rounds as you want. If you are just starting out with this exercise, I recommend two or three rounds.
You will be amazingly surprised at the results….
Is this new to you? Self Care is one of the most important and fundamental pathways to ‘health’, productivity and relational well being that I can recommend. Some examples might include: taking deep and meaningful breaths in every and / or any moment; being present in whatever activity you are engaged in (i.e. eating, walking, bathing, self pleasuring, talking with friends, cooking, etc.). Taking care of your SELF (grounding in to who you REALLY are….whoever that is… do you know? are you curious? Is compassion and understanding (and excitement and acceptance) coming in to your experience?. Self Care.
Self Care is multiple and diverse. What are your notions of self care? How do they serve your life and why?
It is through awareness of our self and how to love and care for our selves, that we can fully care for and serve others, right?
Be in touch.
Our earliest memory of how we began learning about our sexual self will often open a part to our history that is seldom thought of or talked about, but will tell us mountains of information about our sexuality. How you began exploring your body, what others told you, what you heard, and how it all made you feel, laid the foundation for what you experience today in your sensual and sexual life.
In parent education I often begin my classes with this simple question: Read more…